One of my favorite movies of all time is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, though oddly enough I have only seen it once, when it first came out in 2004. I realized over a year ago that it was available streaming from Netflix, but I wasn't sure I wanted to watch it with my husband. Why, you ask? Because I was afraid he wouldn't like it, and you know how disappointing it is when you absolutely love something and want to share it with the person you love, and they just don't get it? That's what I was avoiding. The moment of truth.
I've experienced this twice before with my husband, though neither instance should have surprised me. Once was watching the movie A Room with A View, which is a beautiful and romantic movie, but a bit idiosyncratic. My husband was frustrated and felt it was a chick flick and didn't finish it. Which was a bummer. The second time was even more disappointing, because it had to do with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. We hadn't been seeing each other very long when I brought my tapes (yes, tapes) to his house. At first he seemed to really like it and I was thrilled. But after several episodes he started getting restless and commented that it was entertaining but silly, and obviously made for teenagers. I was crushed. I wanted him to see how profound the show is and be as deeply moved as I am. But the worst part was that when we watched it together after that, I started seeing it through his eyes, noticing things about it that hadn't bothered me before. I didn't want that to happen to Eternal Sunshine, too.
But sometimes a woman has to be brave, and last night we were searching for something to watch for our Friday night ritual of grilled cheese and a movie. I mentioned Eternal Sunshine and he was game, though he had never heard of it. About 15 minutes into it he said it seemed like a chick flick and I said just forget it, we'd turn it off. He said no, we'd watch it, but I no longer wanted to for all the above reasons I've mentioned (which I have never discussed with him). We went back and forth but in the end continued watching it. Before long I could tell he was into it, and I was loving it all over again, even though a lot of it is painful with its realistic portrayal of how ugly things get at the end of a breakup, and then how lovely they are before things turn bad. I don't want to give anything away for those who haven't seen it, so I'll just say that it's unlike any movie I've ever seen. And yet it's the most beautiful and romantic one of all to me, because in the face of everything the two characters know, they still want each other.
I was teary-eyed when the movie ended, remembering why I'd loved it so much. My husband nodded his head. "Good movie," he said.
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