Happy New Year!

And so another year comes to an end. I hope it was a good one for all of you, and that an even better one awaits.

That is the extent of my rumination on the New Year.

I'm a little out of sorts, like I usually am between books. I finished Anne Calhoune's novella Breath on Embers a few days ago and was blown away by how good she is. I suppose I ought to just go and buy everything else she's written that I haven't yet read, but I kind of like keeping those for days when I'm really desperate for something good. I'm not actually desperate yet.

Actually, I've been reading a collection of Nora Ephron's writings called The Most of Nora Ephron, and it's really great. Most of us know her as the screenwriter for "When Harry Met Sally" (one of my all-time fav movies) and "Sleepless in Seattle." But she did so much more that I wasn't aware of, a lot of journalism, but journalism that's written with her opinions and voice. The articles about the women's movement of the late sixties/early seventies are particularly fascinating. So I've been reading that in bits and pieces while searching for my next book to devour. No luck so far, just a couple of not-so-exciting samples read. I may just have to go back to an old favorite and re-read it. Which isn't such a bad way to fill the time. I often find new things to appreciate when I do that.

My husband and I have both been home together for four days straight, give or take some outings and errands, and we've been getting on each other's nerves a bit. I've been kind of twitchy and I feel bad about it. But we still come together when it counts, like when it's time to watch TV. We recently discovered "Friday Night Lights," a show that went off the air in 2011. The amazing thing is that it's all about football and yet not really about football at all. It's just a beautiful, wonderfully written show and I want everyone to watch it. In fact, it's a great lesson in good writing, because (at least in the first season, which is all I've seen so far) all the drama comes out of the characters' experiences and feels real and authentic. It's people dealing with life and it's not over the top or more dramatic than it needs to be, just dramatic in the best sense of the word. It's also charming and really funny. It keeps me riveted. It doesn't hurt that Kyle Chandler is a hottie and there are a bunch of hot football players. My husband loves Connie Britton, who plays the coach's wife, and I love her too, so I don't mind. There's something for everyone.

Anyhoo, that's what I've been into since I last posted. That, and writing. I'll tell more about how that's going another time. ; )

Make it Deep

There are many types of romances out there for us to read, but I'm just recently realizing the main thing that sets a romance apart for me. Good sex scenes are part of it, a big part of it, but good sex scenes grow out of emotional depth. That depth is what I want in a book, even one that's supposed to be sexy and escapist.

By emotional depth I don't mean just the ups and downs and agonies of falling in love, which anyone can write in a surface way, but an understanding of the complexity of people's motivations. A romance author has to throw together two people who are perfect for each other but aren't able to come together until the end of the book. Doing that in a way that makes sense and doesn't get annoying and contrived isn't easy. You have to be a sort of amateur (or maybe armchair) psychologist.

It takes a mature writer to understand the contradictions people have in themselves and how those interact with another character's, how that creates conflict and tension. I want an author who can take me into the depths of people's dreams and fears in an authentic way. When they do this, the sex is great because great sex grows out of the passion, fears and desires the hero and heroine bring to it.

The last few books I've really loved have all had this, and they were by three of my favs: Anne Calhoune, Cara McKenna and Ruthie Knox. These lovely ladies write crazy sexy romances with interesting characters whose motivations make sense and don't change in the middle of the book (oh how I hate that).

Right now I'm reading an historical romance – Where Dreams Begin, by Lisa Kleypas – that I didn't even know existed. I don't know how it's possible since I've been a fan of hers for years and always kept and eye out for her new ones, but there are actually several that I didn't know about. The amazing thing about Where Dreams Begin is that it will probably end up being a favorite. The hero and heroine are so likable and wonderful and the reasons keeping them apart make sense and are also layered in a way that feels real and difficult. Not all of this author's books have this same depth, and the ones that don't lose their tension partway through the book because of this. But when an author can sustain it, even after the h/h have sex, you have a winner.

I'm also psyched about this book because frankly, I have not been having an easy time finding historicals that I like. It's a genre I love, but I haven't fallen in love with one for quite a while. What I need is to discover an author who's been publishing a while so that I can lose myself in the dozens of titles she's already written. If anyone has suggestions, please send them to me!

My Muse

A few weeks ago my husband and I stopped by his parents for a few hours, and while we were there his mom handed me a photo in an envelope and said,"Maybe this will inspire your next book."

I pulled it out, took a look at it, and yelled "Holy shit!" right in front of my in-laws. Then I stared at it some more. It was a picture of my husband, aged 26, during a triathlon. He had just come out of the water and was running towards his bike when a photographer took his picture. The crazy thing is he looked like a typical romance hero – dark hair, strong law, broad shoulders tapering to narrow hips. All ripped, lean muscle. It's insane.

Don't get me wrong. He's still in great shape, but this is him in peak physical condition, and it's something to behold. On the way home I kept taking the photo out and looking at it, and I did the same for the next couple of days, dazed with lust over this younger version of my husband.

We've only been married three years, only known each other a little over four years, and I've sometimes wished we'd met each other when we were younger. But the truth is, if we'd met when we were a lot longer, we might not have hit it off. Sure, I would have still had the bloom of youth and he would have looked like the cover of a romance novel, but we're very different in a lot of ways, and I think those differences would have been starker when we were younger.

So instead I count myself lucky that we found each other at all, and I've put the picture (now framed) on my desk where he can inspire me with his never-ending hotness.

Get "Stirred Up" for 99 Cents

Stirred Up is on sale for 99 cents. It's normally $3.99, so what a bargain, right?

My Latest Crush

I have a confession to make. Sometimes I announce my intention to write a book that features such and such characters, or will take place in such and such a setting, and then I start writing and I completely change my mind. The lesson here is either to stop announcing things before I really know what I'm going to do, or to just go with the flow and hope that no one minds these changes of heart.

The latest is that I recently developed a whole new crush, this time on Ryan Bingham, the singer songwriter/former bull rider. He first came to my attention for being on the soundtrack of the 2009 movie "Crazy Heart," but it was only a couple of weeks ago that I finally downloaded one of his own albums. In the course of doing that and checking out his website for tour dates, I also got a look at him and realized that on top of having the kind of deep, raspy voice we ladies swoon over, he is also one sexy dude.

Go ahead, search Google images and see for yourself. I ain't lying. 

Naturally, I couldn't help thinking that a character inspired by this guy would make a great romance hero. But in what book? I was planning for my next series to take place in Maine, and he definitely does not belong in Maine. But he would make perfect sense in Las Vegas, and wouldn't it be fun if Beth, Cheryl's friend and the heroine of Sin City Book Three, got it on with a sexy singer like him? I had planned on her hooking up with Evan, Jason's friend, but that's not set in stone. 

Without even thinking it all through, I just started to write, indulging my fantasy through Beth. I figured I needed to to do it even if I ended up switching back to Evan, because my crush needed an outlet. Now I'm seriously into it, as is Beth, so this may just be a completely different book than I intended. But I love romances that indulge our fantasies while also somehow being believable, and that's what I'm after in every book I write.

This new crush does not in any way diminish my love of Viggo Mortenson, Timothy Olyphant or Justin Timberlake. There's always room for more, and some of these others may yet turn up as inspiration for other heroes. I also reserve the right to change my mind again, in the event that this book, for whatever reason, is not working with a sexy singer. I'll let you know if that happens. But whoever Beth's romantic interest ends up being, I promise it will be plenty steamy, and of course there'll be a happily ever after. 

Vacation's All I Ever Wanted

In precisely 42 hours I will be heading to Maine for a week-long vacation and I can't freakin' wait. I was never big on Maine, had only been there once or twice when I was really young, but last year someone let us use their cabin in Rangeley and we were instantly hooked on the area. We booked a different cabin as soon as we got home from our vacation last August, so we've essentially been waiting a year to go back.

The week we went last year, the town's little movie theater showed Jaws for free one night, and it was a blast. I think I really fell in love with the town that night, sitting in that dark theater with strangers and watching a faded print of that awesome movie, which I had never seen in a theater. It was scarier than I'd remembered, and I wasn't the only one who hadn't remembered, because a bunch of people brought young kids. (Note: don;t ever do this. Your children will be very afraid and probably have nightmares.)

Tangential note: I learned this past weekend that great whites usually attack from below, so you would rarely see a fin beforehand. I'm glad Spielberg ignored that little tidbit.

The reason I bring up my trip (besides being super excited) is that I've decided that after Sin City Book Three, I'm going to start a series that takes place in a town based on Rangeley. That way I can sort of live there all year long, or as long as it takes me to write the (probably three) books. I've already got some ideas for the characters (a hunky forest ranger, a b&b owner, logger, etc). I don't have a name for the series yet, but perhaps by the time I come home, I will. Suggestions are welcome.

Now for the book review portion of our program:

I've been on a great streak the past few weeks. I didn't throw a single book down in disgust. I read Sarah Pekkanen's These Girls and I think it's terrific. Insightful, entertaining, and a good story about three women friends. Also a realistic portrait of what it's like to live in NYC. Or so I think. I've never actually lived there. It's not a romance but there are romantic elements.

For my next book I went in a totally different direction: the beautiful and heart-wrenching The Fault in Our Stars by John Greene. It had been recommended to me, and I knew I was in for a sad story, but it was so worth the read. It's a love story, in a sense, about two teenagers with cancer, so not a light read, but it's also uplifting in the way anything beautiful can be. I recommend it without reservation. I am not the only one, either, as it's won all sorts of awards and has a zillion reviews.

Next up, Ride with Me by Ruthie Knox. This romance is going on my faves list. I wish I'd written it. The story is fresh, the characters likable, and it's super sexy. The woman can write a sex scene, and she doesn't skimp. Plus she's a fabulous writer. I actually found myself re-reading sentences because they were so witty or nicely said or unexpected. I love romance novels, but I'm often disappointed, and it's rare for the writing to be good enough that I re-read them as I'm going. Ride with Me is only .99 right now, so take advantage.

I was terrified that Ride with Me was Knox's only book, but much to my delight she's written a bunch. So after Ride with Me I read About Last Night which was also great and refreshing in its characters and storyline, and I have a couple more of her books on my kindle for vacation reading.

So happy reading, and I'll see you here when I'm back. : )

Long Live "Dirty Dancing"

A couple of weeks ago on a hot Sunday afternoon during the heat wave, I happily sat down and put my tape (as in VHS) of the movie Dirty Dancing into our dual DVD/VHS player. Except my delight ended all too soon when the machine ate it.

I had insisted that we keep the VCR so I could watch the half dozen VHS tapes I still have. "But you never watch them," my husband argued. What could I say? I hadn't, not since I met him over four years ago, but I needed to know that I could watch When Harry Met Sally, Grease, Dirty Dancing, The Turning Point or Buffy the Vampire Slayer whenever I needed to.

This dates me, I know. Though I was very young when Grease came out and a good deal of it went over my head ("Mom, what does 'the chicks'll cream' mean?"), I was a teenager when Dirty Dancing came out. I was visiting our grandmother in Florida when I finally saw it, and it was on that trip that I finally, finally got my period at the age of fifteen. These two events, seeing Dirty Dancing and becoming a woman at last, are forever linked in my mind. 

I loved the movie and have loved it through countless viewings in the years since, even when I recognized its imperfections. It depicts Baby's sexual awakening (which I was still personally waiting for the first 20 times I watched it), and now even as a grown and married woman, it still does something to me, something akin to what I felt the first time I saw it. I feel the hope and yearning and the first flush of love because they are now part of the movie for me.

Now I don't expect everyone to love it, but I was shocked when a friend of mine, a fellow romantic as well as a former professional dancer, told me that she didn't get why people loved it so much, why it's such a cultural touchstone when it's such a silly, cheesy movie. I was shocked, until she revealed that she didn't see it when it was first released in 1987. In fact, she didn't see it until she was in her thirties. 

This made me think about how some things hit us hard because we discover them at a particular time and they imprint themselves on us. We then forever carry how we felt that first time we encountered them with us forever. The same is true with certain books we read when we were kids. I never read the Narnia books when I was a kid, and by the time I realized what I'd missed out on, it was too late to feel their magic, to believe them like I would have if I'd read them sooner.

Some of the things in Dirty Dancing went over my head when I first saw it. I didn't completely comprehend that this took place when abortion was illegal, or what that meant for everyone in the story (not to mention in the country at that time). I also hadn't known about the Catskills, and how it was a favorite vacation spot for New York Jews in the earlier part of the 20th century. Family's like Baby's went to resorts, but the movie A Walk on the Moon depicts working class Jewish families heading to the same place, only instead of resorts they got little cottages. Nothing fancy, just something away from the city. If you haven't seen A Walk on the Moon, you really should. Viggo Mortensen stars with Diane Lane and it's a smart, very sexy, bittersweet story. And Viggo is young and crazy sexy.

Speaking of Jews, I'm one, and I have decided to make the heroine in my next novel (the as yet untitled Book Three in the Sin City series) Jewish. That said, religion will be as important in this one as it is in the others, which is to say, not at all important. But it's more about having a little diversity, a slightly different culture and background to work with, and I thought that would be fun. Hence we'll be seeing more of Cheryl's friend, Beth Levine, not to mention Jason's friend, the (gentile) ER doctor Evan Hunter. They are in for some crazy times.

Stirred Up is Now Available

I am thrilled to say that my new contemporary romance novel is available as of today at Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Smashwords. Isn't the cover sexy? So is the story!

Here's the description:

The last thing Cheryl Munro expects her first day student teaching is the sexy English teacher standing at the front of the classroom. But no matter how charming her new boss is, nothing is going to distract her from her goal – becoming a full-fledged teacher so she can put her years stripping at the Pink Pussycat Gentlemen’s Club behind her.

From the moment Cheryl walks into Jason Shaw’s classroom he has to remind himself she’s off-limits, at least until the semester’s over. But there’s no rule about being friends, and soon the two of them are spending time together after hours, doing their best to ignore their off-the-charts chemistry. He’s a patient man, and some things are worth waiting for.

But Jason’s discovery of the one secret Cheryl was determined to keep shakes both of them and confirms Cheryl’s worst fears. Will Jason be able to win back her trust, or do some scars run too deep?

 

Stirred Up is a full-length contemporary romance novel. It’s the second book in the Sin City series but can be read alone as well.

Visit my website for more details.

Sin City: The Musical

Okay, so there is no musical, but there is a new book in the series. Almost.

Stirred Up, which I talked about in an earlier post, will be released on July 27th, and I'm really excited about it. There are a few things that make it a little different from Tempt Me and Set Loose. For one, it's a full-length novel, which meant I got to really dig into the hero and heroine and see what made them tick, and I got to develop their relationship over a period of time.

Secondly, I would characterize it as a steamy contemporary romance (as opposed to erotica). The characters and their situation all demanded that the hot action did not take place immediately, even though the attraction is there right off the bat. Personally, I like excruciating sexual tension that builds until you're dying for the characters to get it on. And trust me, once they do get it on, there is plenty of action.

You'll also see some faces from Set Loose (Cutter, Emily, and Lisa) and meet new characters who will be featured in the third book in the series.

So that's my big news. My other news is that I just read Eleanor & Park and so should everyone else on planet Earth. It's a beautiful, amazing, intense YA romance and it blew my mind.

To Tempt, or Not to Tempt. That is the question.

Ever since I released Tempt Me in January, 2012, people have asked, either in emails to me or in reviews, whether there will be a sequel. The answer is: maybe. The thing is, I didn't plan to write more about Ian and Nina. If I had, I would have written it pretty quickly after I published the first part. Actually, I would have just put it out as a longer book, since I don't love it when authors release multiple novellas instead of one novel.

I didn't plan on writing Tempt Me at all. I had just finished my historical romance novel, No Other Love, and had been working on another historical. This one took place a couple years after the Civil War and featured a spinster who heads to Nevada as a mail order bride. I had been working on it for a couple of months and was miserable. I'd completely psyched myself out and couldn't imagine ever finishing it, and writing was no longer fun. I was expressing my despair to my friend Abby one day, and she suggested I take a break and write a novella, something that would be fun to write and that didn't have to conform to any particular market or audience.

So I did, and it was fun. First of all, it was so much easier and quicker to write a contemporary romance because I wasn't slowed down by research. Secondly, writing something short took away any doubt that I'd be able to finish it.

Some readers like the story enough that they want more of it, and some seem to feel let down or even cheated that it's so short. Some are happy with it just as it is. It never occurred to me that anyone would feel let down, because I felt like it ended where it should, after they'd worked through the main stumbling blocks to being together and declared their love. I love romances because I get to experience all the uncertainties and thrills of early love and lust, so that is what I tried to deliver. When we leave them at the end, they are on their way a having a happily ever after.

That said, I get why people want more. One of the joys of reading a romance is sinking into a book and living with those characters. I love Ian and Nina and could definitely find more to say about them. My fear is that if I did, it wouldn't be as satisfying as what I wrote in the first part. I would only be doing it to make readers happy, which is a great reason, but if I'm not feeling it I'll let people down anyway.

So I'm going to hold off, but if the spirit moves me I'll write it, and you'll all be the first to know.

Coming Soon...

I finally have a title for Book Two in the Sin City series: Stirred Up. Not only that, I am nearly done writing it! I expect to release it in July and will report back when I have an exact date. This one is a full-length novel and features Cheryl, the red-headed stripper from Set Loose. I'll have a nice little description for it soon.

Book Three will come out early next year, but since I havent started it yet, I can't get more specific than that.

Stay tuned...

New Adult for the Not-So-New Adult

Recently I've read a few "New Adult" romances, a sub-genre I hadn't heard of until recently. It's pretty new but has taken off now and is growing. (Of course, I often think something is taking off right when I hear about it.) Featuring heroes and heroines between 17 and  20 (ish), they often (though not always) depict the characters in a high school or college setting.  The content tends to be more mature than Young Adult novels, and the main characters often have sex at some point in the book. In the ones I've read, the sex is treated as a serious thing and the characters don't engage in it until they have reached a true understanding of each other. Of course, some adult romances take this approach, too.

The first book I read in this category was Tamara Webber's Easy, and I absolutely loved it. So when I heard about another New Adult book by another author who was getting a lot of press, I decided to give it a try. It had hundreds of rave reviews on Amazon, so I was pretty sure the book (hereafter referred to as Book X) was going to be good. Unfortunately, not so much. It started off strong and had intriguing, appealing characters, but it went downhill about halfway though and I ended up skimming the second half, unable to finish it.

Needing validation for my reading experience, I then went to Amazon to see if anyone else felt like I did. Reading through the two and three star reviews, I did find other readers who felt as I did, but they identified as adult women, thirty years old and up. The younger readers didn't seem to have a problem with how melodramatic and over-the-top the book got.

It got me thinking about what it means to read a book targeted at girls in their late teens when you are far beyond that yourself. I am not the target audience, so is it fair of me to criticize?  These books, like all romances, are fantasies, and in New Adult books, they're fantasies for girls decades younger than me. Who am I to judge?

Of course I do. A good book is a good book and this one could have been written better. A good editor would have done the trick. And there are some books that completely do it for me, regardless of their target age.  If I hear that something is good I want to try it, and it's a let down when the book isn't so great. I no longer trust Amazon reviews, since I so often don't agree with all the raves I read, but they are useful for judging which ones are worth taking the time to sample.

In any case, I'm still on the lookout for New Adult books. It's a time of life we all remember, and love at that time can feel even more poignant. People are just starting to understand themselves and become independent. These feelings are all new and wild and sometimes out of control. It's fun to read about it, and remember that time in your own life, even if nothing nearly so momentous or sexy happened during it.

When I was that age, I was reading long, over-the-top historical romances and loving it. Maybe I would have loved the melodrama of Book X at that age, too. It doesn't have to be great literature to hit you right where it counts.

I'm Your Number One Fan

This past Friday I headed off to Burlington, Massachusetts for the annual conference of the New England Chapter of the Romance Writers of America (NECRWA). After meeting my friend Abby (see previous post for more on her) for lunch we headed off to the master class on dialogue led by Julia Quinn, who looks and sounds like Mary Louise Parker at her West Wing sassiest. That class, and the other workshops on craft, are one of the best things about the meeting. While you're sitting there you get these "aha" moments where you suddenly think of something great to do with your story, and you leave actually knowing more.

Then there's meeting authors you've been reading or hearing about for years, like Marie Force and Judith Arnold, and discovering new authors and contacts. These meetings are basically hundreds of generous women hanging out together talking about romances. What could be more awesome?

Here's who else I saw there: Cara McKenna. If you follow my reviews on Goodreads, you know how I feel about Cara McKenna. So when I saw her walk by my table before dinner Friday night, I jumped up, ran over, interrupted a conversation she was having and told her how much I love her books. Hopefully I didn't scare her. I'm kind of tall and I felt like I was sort of looming over her like a crazed fan. But she thanked me and I left her alone to eat her dinner, having accomplished one of my goals for the meeting.

I drove home Saturday afternoon energized and ready to make the second book in the Sin City series totally awesome. I also may have a title for it: Set Free. Get it, Set Loose and then Set Free? But if I did that, what would I name the third book?

If anyone has an opinion about this, please feel free to comment.

I also thought up an idea for a new series based on a Maine town where my husband and I have gone on vacation. So I'm psyched about that. And to top it all off, this morning I dressed up in my best business casual and went to court to fight a ticket I got back in February (to the tune of $100), and it went in my favor. Now I have the rest of the day left to write, watch the last "New Girl" and "Mindy Project" episodes and meet my husband for sushi. No complaints today.

Keepin' It Real

I was in DC last week when a book by one of my favorite authors – one I had pre-ordered so long ago I had forgotten when to expect it – was delivered to my Kindle. I was aglow with delight, since I had all kinds of time in my hotel room at night, not to mention on the plane, to read it.

But alas, within the first chapter I knew it was not going to live up to her other books. The whole thing was flat, the conflict felt forced. It was, in a word, boring. I was sorely disappointed, seeing as how this particular author only releases one book a year.

When I got back from my trip I talked to Abby, my friend and critique partner, and told her what I thought of it. Now, she hadn't been happy with the author's last book, whereas I loved it. But because Abby loved her other books, she had still planned to buy the next one. And in fact, after we talked she even bought the one I had just condemned, because she had to see for herself. So, after talking about all the ways in which it was lame, we agreed we'd still buy her next book.

Below are the brilliant insights that came out of these discussions:

1) If you love an author enough, you will give her multiple chances. One not-so-great book isn't the end of the love affair.  This is a very reassuring thing if you are an author, since not everyone is going to love each book you publish.

2) It's possible to become too comfortable with what you are writing and lose the very thing that romance readers count on you for. Many romance authors, ones I love, succumb to this at one time or another. Whether they write too many books in one series, write too often about the same sorts of characters and stories, or are just pressured to publish too many books, it's easy to see how it can happen, especially over a long career. Abby and I made a pact that we will not let each other publish anything sub-par. We don't want to ever phone it in or not be excited about what we're writing, and we also want to have long writing careers that stand the test of time.

3) To keep things fresh, writers need to challenge themselves, step out of their comfort zones, and try new things. This is perhaps especially true with writers who produce books very often. It's no easy thing to maintain freshness and originality when writing one or more books every year. We re-committed ourselves to writing books in different romance genres and/or writing about people or situations that are challenging, scary or not usually done.

4) If, come a certain age, we are no longer interested in writing about sex (God forbid), we'll be honest with ourselves and each other and move on.

How do I plan to keep it fresh, you ask? I think after I finish the Sin City series I may try my hand at another historical. Some time ago I began one that takes place in and around Reno and Genoa, Nevada (where I spent my honeymoon) shortly after the Civil War. It features a spinster mail-order bride (I love a good spinster romance) and a jaded, wandering ex-US Marshall (Timothy Olyphant anyone?), and I have always meant to get back to it. After that, who knows. Paranormal. steampunk, new adult? I'm up for anything.

Modern Love

I just read last Sunday's Modern Love column in the New York Times, and not only was it really good, I could relate. Probably a lot of people can, since it's about a woman who feels the need to keep a "single girl's starter kit" - the things she'd need to start over -  in a storage unit even after she moves in with her boyfriend of seven years. Because what if things don't work out?

Reading it reminded me of when I moved in with my boyfriend when I was 29. I really wanted it to work out, but in reality, I'd only felt sure of us for the two weeks prior to moving in. In other words, I was insane. But I thought moving in would solve some of the problems we had. It'll surprise no one that things only go worse. It was a rocky, stressful living situation, though I held out hope that we would figure out how to want what the other could give.

But hope is one thing, and certainty another, so all the extraneous stuff from my bachelorette pad was being stored in his basement. For months after I moved in we talked about having a tag sale to get rid of the dishes, silverware, lamps, etc, but neither of us ever pushed it through. Maybe he was as unsure as I was. And move out I did, after 10 months and a lot of misery.

Fast forward six years to me sitting outside my apartment, selling off all my worldly possessions. I felt no pain, no worry. I was about to move in with my fiance and I was thrilled with life. I had a few things that were nicer than his, but mostly his stuff was better, and I was psyched to make a couple of bucks on the stuff I didn't need anymore. My jeans bulged with my roll of one dollar bills, plus a fifty for the futon I'd had since grad school.

I had everything there a person would need for a new start, and in fact a woman in just such a situation showed up early on the first day of our sale. From the little she said, I got the feeling she'd left a bad relationship with pretty much just the shirt on her back. She needed everything from silverware to pots to a microwave, and I was happy to give her anything she wanted for practically nothing. My husband even tossed some things in her car that I'm pretty sure she didn't want.

I had no doubts about what I was doing, no pit of doom in my stomach to pretend away. I had a ring on my finger and was moving in with a guy I'd been sure of within the first couple of months.

But there's also this. My grandmother told my mother she should always have her own bank account, even when married. That was a pretty modern thing to say in the sixties, but my mother heeded the advice and passed it on to me. Mostly my husband and I have our own accounts so we can do what we want without having to explain every purchase. But having my own money also makes me feel safe and ready for whatever might happen. Maybe this is a feature of women who are out of their twenties when they get married. I don't expect to need that money for starting over, but if I did, at least I know I'd have more than the shirt on my back.

Confession

A month or so ago I saw "Zero Dark Thirty," the movie about searching for, finding and ultimately killing Osama bin Laden. It was more or less what I expected – well done, brutal, thought-provoking and disturbing. But I am embarrassed to say that I also had another, very simple and unexpected reaction while watching.

Lust.

Most of you probably know that Navy SEAL Team Six were the ones that raided the compound. Well, the moment the SEALs came on screen, I was like, I want to get me some of that. The primitive cavewoman living in my head broke free of my intellect and panted over the hunky, sexy, oh-so capable men running around and acting heroic.

Now, clearly I'm not the only one with a thing for Navy SEALs. They enjoy a certain mystique within the general population, and there are a number of romance novels dedicated to SEAL heros. I just had never found myself lusting over them, or the idea of them (since these were just actors, after all). Plus, it was kind of weird timing, since the movie itself is the opposite of romantic.

Nevertheless, I decided I had to read some SEAL romances. I'm evening flirting with the idea of writing one myself, though that would be a ways off. I have done some searching around and found a few, but have only just started reading in this tasty sub-genre. If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to pass them on. My guess is this is the type of book that's difficult to carry off well, but finding those gems will be worth the effort.

Ben Whishaw and Other Affairs

So I was going to blog about this great new show I've been watching and urge everyone to follow it. But I just discovered (almost a month after it was announced) that The Hour will not be back for a third season (or series, as the Brits say).

This is crushing. My husband and I only recently discovered it. We just finished the first three episodes a couple of nights ago and were ready to be obsessed for the duration. But it looks like the duration will be short indeed. Apparently the viewership sank dramatically in the second series and that was that. Why, I don't know. It features sex, romance, intrigue, and hot first rate actors. I still recommend the show, but you must begin your affair understanding it will burn hot and fast.

Speaking of brief love affairs, one of the actors, Ben Whishaw, starred in Bright Star, a gorgeous movie about the poet John Keats and his love, Fannie Brawn. Theirs is one of the most well-known romances of the romantic poets, thanks to the poems and letters he wrote for her. The movie is perfect and beautiful and everyone should see it.

The Ins and Outs of Writing About Sex

Friday night was a reunion of sorts for me. The annual meeting for the Associated Writing Programs was in Boston this weekend, and a good friend of mine was coming out for it. Also the MFA program I graduated from over a decade ago had an alumni event as part of the festivities. The alumni event was great, because I got to see my poetry professor and other students I'd gone through the program with. I was pretty serious about writing poetry for years, and I started my historical novel, No Other Love, only a few years out of grad school. But for various reasons I didn't keep at it until I met my husband. At that point I really didn't want to write melancholy poems, which had always been my forte. Not only was I too happy to write that kind of stuff, I wanted to lose myself in another world, preferably one with hot men, great sex, and happy endings.

I don't mean this to sound anti-poetry, because poetry can do what no other kind of writing can. I was just ready for a change. But few people from my writing program know what I've been up to, and I wondered what they'd think, particularly my poetry professor. But everyone was exited to hear what I've been doing, and not only did my professor seem excited for me, he completely understood my reasons for switching to romances. 

So that happened. But I also had an interesting talk with my friend, who was going to be on a panel about how to write sex scenes in literary fiction. Not theoretically, but how to describe the actual act. She wanted to talk about what made a good sex scene, and I told her what a good friend of mine, a fellow romance writer, once told me. Which is that a sex scene should move the story forward. It's like the way musical numbers function in modern musicals. The singing and dancing can't just be a cute, fun interlude, it should push the story forward and reveal things about the characters. The funny thing is this is true whether it's a romance novel or literary fiction. The sex scenes in a literary novel will be far different from what you find in a romance novel, but the general rules apply. Of course, when you get down to the nitty gritty description, we go in very different directions. For instance, my friend decided, after reading her favorite sex scenes, that the best ones were all about the build-up, and the actual intercourse was best left told in as little detail as possible. I agree wholeheartedly that the build-up is the best part, but when it comes to romance novels, I have no problem reading (or writing) about the beginning, the middle, or the end.

True Romance

One of my favorite movies of all time is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, though oddly enough I have only seen it once, when it first came out in 2004. I realized over a year ago that it was available streaming from Netflix, but I wasn't sure I wanted to watch it with my husband. Why, you ask? Because I was afraid he wouldn't like it, and you know how disappointing it is when you absolutely love something and want to share it with the person you love, and they just don't get it? That's what I was avoiding. The moment of truth.

I've experienced this twice before with my husband, though neither instance should have surprised me. Once was watching the movie A Room with A View, which is a beautiful and romantic movie, but a bit idiosyncratic. My husband was frustrated and felt it was a chick flick and didn't finish it. Which was a bummer. The second time was even more disappointing, because it had to do with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. We hadn't been seeing each other very long when I brought my tapes (yes, tapes) to his house. At first he seemed to really like it and I was thrilled. But after several episodes he started getting restless and commented that it was entertaining but silly, and obviously made for teenagers. I was crushed. I wanted him to see how profound the show is and be as deeply moved as I am. But the worst part was that when we watched it together after that, I started seeing it through his eyes, noticing things about it that hadn't bothered me before. I didn't want that to happen to Eternal Sunshine, too.

But sometimes a woman has to be brave, and last night we were searching for something to watch for our Friday night ritual of grilled cheese and a movie. I mentioned Eternal Sunshine and he was game, though he had never heard of it. About 15 minutes into it he said it seemed like a chick flick and I said just forget it, we'd turn it off. He said no, we'd watch it, but I no longer wanted to for all the above reasons I've mentioned (which I have never discussed with him). We went back and forth but in the end continued watching it. Before long I could tell he was into it, and I was loving it all over again, even though a lot of it is painful with its realistic portrayal of how ugly things get at the end of a breakup, and then how lovely they are before things turn bad. I don't want to give anything away for those who haven't seen it, so I'll just say that it's unlike any movie I've ever seen. And yet it's the most beautiful and romantic one of all to me, because in the face of everything the two characters know, they still want each other.

I was teary-eyed when the movie ended, remembering why I'd loved it so much. My husband nodded his head. "Good movie," he said.

Welcome to the maiden voyage of my soon to be world-famous blog (aka my sanctioned procrastination outlet). I should get to working on my book after I post, but instead I'll go back to reading the book Wool by Hugh Howey. I started reading it on my Kindle right before a trip on Sunday to the Midwest and it got me through several long days and the flight there and back. I have left off at a crucial point in the story so am anxious to get back to it. The crazy thing is that at some point in my reading I went to the home page or something like that, and when I went back to read it, it had skipped ahead many chapters. Does anyone else's Kindle inexplicably skip on them like this? It's maddening. Not that I realized what had happened. I actually kept reading, thinking that the author was letting time go by in the narrative. It wasn't until it skipped on me again and I had to go back and find where I'd left off that I realized what had happened. Felt like an idiot but wished at that point I was reading an actual hard copy so I could find my blasted page. I'm also concurrently reading Dark Lover, the first book in J.R. Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood series. I might be the last person on earth to discover this series, but better late than never. I've also come late to Justin Timberlake, mainly because of his hysterical SNL shorts. When I realized how funny he was I started paying attention. His sexy songs have been an inspiration as I work on the second book in my Sin City series. He's even starred in some pretty sexy dreams. Care to know who else I've dreamed about? Here, in no particular order, are the famous men I've dreamed about on multiple occasions:

Bill Clinton (while president)
Barak Obama (while president
Tom Brady (Patriot's quarterback, not that I'm a Pats fan)
Justin Timberlake (see above)
Bruce Springsteen (ever since I was a teenager)

At first I was a bit embarrassed about dreaming about Clinton, especially as I realized it must have to do with some primal attraction to him being a powerful man. It really shouldn't embarrass me, since I have embraced this primal urge and revel in it when it comes to romance novels. Also, I admitted it to a couple of women at a conference and they were like, dude, join the club. Once Obama was elected it seemed I was one of millions.

Sweet dreams, all, whatever they may be.